?

Log in

January 2015   01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
white mug

what to do with the time

Posted on Fri,Jun.1st,2007 at 10:48
I feel mostly: listlesslistless
I went Wednesday to the local museum that highlights the life of a favorite Gulf Coast artist, born in New Orleans and raised here on the coast of Mississippi.  I volunteered and they were eager to have me aboard, especially for the day children's camp coming up in June.  I was also told I can do the front desk and the gift shop. The form I filled out had all sorts of options to volunteer for and I checked many of them.  Julie says everyone at the museum is very flexible with scheduling. The lady in charge of coordinating scheduling still has to call me.  I want to go back and remind them heh but am making me wait and be patient.  

I went to the greatest doughnut/coffee shop in the world this morning right before heading to the gym.  Isn't that just great!  The little shop is a local business and makes one of a kind doughnuts. BUT I did lose those 5 lbs I had put on and I am buying no sweet snacks for the pantry, so it can be a small allowance.  

My Great Aunt has offered her pool for us to use this summer.  I took the boys last week and would like to go by myself today, am waiting for her to return my call, but since it's last minute, her schedule might not allow for it.  And so in the meantime, I am going to find something worthwhile to do that will use my time. Since I have been putting writing to the side for so long, it may be time to set my thoughts lose in the open where I can evaluate what's goin' on with me lately.

ps i loveyou

conversations

Posted on Sat,May.26th,2007 at 15:41
I feel mostly: determinedhum
What do I hear?: voices in my head
Mom came by for lunch today.  She oredered us all pizza.  I spent the afternoon exchanging stories and memories with her.  Grandmother called in during her visit and included her own little tid bit.

"I couldn't sleep last night at all " says Julia.  "I was all out of sorts because I couldn't find a way to control everything I wanted to control. I woke up early early this morning with the solution." 
This is unusual for Grandmother Julia to get up early because her lupas ties up her joints to her bed normally until very late in the morning.
"well, Grandmother," I ask, "How early exactly was it?"
"It was still dark outside," she answered.  
"What were you wanting to control so badly, Grandmother?"
The cleaning lady had not been wrapping the vacuum cleaner cord all the way up and just in general had not been leaving the place clean enough.  So she got up and cleaned until the break of dawn.  Most vigorous activity will trigger an attack on her joints so this frustrated me, but I got her point.  Still though, I told her to fire her maid and find someone more effecient. She said anytime I feel that lost sense that all it takes to cure it is to take matters into my own hands, get up, and DO something about it. :-)

The icecream Rice Dream never made it to her door because her driveway is too country for the delivery truck to get there.  :-( I wonder what I can DO about that ??  Even the owner of the store tried a second time,onher own to use an ice chest with dry ice in overnight regular mail, so she said on the phone.  I will check again, make a short trip to the health store.


 

no regrets

4 What It's Worth Book at the Salon

Posted on Sat,May.19th,2007 at 20:36
I feel mostly: drunkbeautiful
What do I hear?: Mistake ~ Fiona Apple
What can I say for myself?  That I adore a  tree house where one can sit on the second floor wooden porch and rock the day away reading a book in the tops of Oak trees with Mardi Gras beads still hanging in their limbs, even in May. I had brought one of the books from my summer reading box that I packed off of the library shelves at school. 
It is way worth the extra cost for how pretty and pampered I feel after a day at the salon with hardwood floors and ceilings, resting in a tranquil, Oriental theme. My hair feels and looks expensive, even if to my imagination only...I will live in this single allowed rhapsody and by go sensibility for this one luxury. This beauty spot has been my favorite since I was 15 years old and had my hair done professionally in the exact salon for the first time in my life. 
To further justify the expense I say that after all I am only shopping at the thrift store for summer clothes.  And I am not running around in my car so no gas $ makes up for the difference.
I decided that this summer I will be tanned and ignore the veins on the back of my well-muscled legs. Instead, I say that I have wonderfully highlighted blonde hair, long legs, and a sun tan.  I can't care or worry about being not perfect (these are truly large blue veins that I have been super conscious of in the past). So I have a tight and short denim mini skirt I wore today. Yep, found it at the thrift store. It is the shortest item of clothing I have worn in ages and I mean ages, but not over short all the same. And I didn't care. (maybe a smidgen conscious still)
After a long time at the salon having my hair highlighted to be bright, after relaxing on the second story porch, I went to the book store and ate rasberry lemon cheese cake :-) oh so yum.

I bought Grandmother Julia some specialized Rice Dream ice cream.
Supposedly it should arrive to her very front door, packed in dry ice.  She doesn't go out to shop anymore and this product is not easy to find (yet) in regular grocery stores.


A Mistake Lyrics

Artist(Band):Fiona Apple
Review The Song (0)
Print the Lyrics

Send Fiona Apple polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone



I'm gonna make a mistake
I'm gonna do it on purpose
I'm gonna waste my time

'Cause I'm full as a tick
And I'm scratching at the surface
And what I find is mine

And when the day is done, and I look back
And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around
All the advice I shunned, and I ran
Where they told me not to run, but I sure had fun, so

I'm gonna fuck it up again
I'm gonna do another detour
Unpave my path

And if you wanna make sense
What you looking at me for
I'm no good at math

And when I find my way back
The fact is I just may stay, or I may not
I've acquired quite a taste for
A well-made mistake I wanna make a mistake
Why can't I make a mistake?

I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why

Do I wanna do right, of course but
Do I really wanna feel I'm forced to
Answer you, hell no
I've acquired quite a taste for
A well-made mistake, I wanna make a mistake
Why can't I make a mistake

I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why

white mug

run down of the run of the mill

Posted on Sat,May.19th,2007 at 19:56
Won an Award from the Library of Information Science. Recognition based only but well-timed.

Took the GRE to get in Grad school.  Passed it easy b/c I did so high on the language but was awful low on the math.   Waited too long to apply and will have to go in the Spring semester, but that's fine.

Been going to the gym all the time now and man I am in the best shape I have been in my life!  It is so nice to have toned and defined muscles!
Last day of my first year as a School Librarian was on Friday last! Now I have until August 1st to do whatever but won't do much.  I have the kids a week at a time and then they go to their dad's for a week at a time. I'll probly break down and get Cable. Soon!
 

mean reds

Howdy Neighbor

Posted on Sat,May.19th,2007 at 19:01
I feel mostly: bitchybitchy
The neighbors. Where to begin? Umm well when I first moved in you could say that I was aloof  and unresponsive to over friendly 'ellos from that one guy.  I don't want to be noticed or obligated to 'ellos. 
I have this pretty big front yard.  I mean it wraps down the road to the stop sign over there.  I have the most inexpensive push lawnmower that WalMart can sell me. A Red Rally put together by my younger brother J! On the very day he came home from the hospital, he put together this lawnmower with me :-) It mows the grass tops only since the wheels are so high. I guess they can be lowered, but I had J put it together for me in the first place, well, because I don't want to lower lawnmower wheels. So I have been mowing the tip fringes of my lawn only.  Imagine my delight when I come home one day to grass trimmed so low it could have been the military shave of a soldier boy.
Suddenly my friendly nature kicks in and shatters my reserve. I bake chocolate chip cookies and knock on the neighbor door with them still warm in my hand.  His wife answers. She goes on to say that she fully expects to just come home one day and find that her husband has mowed all the way down the road, b/c he loves to use his riding lawnmower.  Yes, the neighbors, an elderly couple, also had their grass shaved.
Next time, a while later, I see this guy he is surly and bending over a portion of his backyard privacy fence that is lying on the ground in his grass.  "Good Morning" I go.  "Don't talk to me," he shoots back.  "Aww," I say, "did your fence fall down?  That sucks."   He knocks on my door a bit after that and asks if he can use that slab of concrete.  I guess he needs a firm surface to work on his fence.  "I'll give it back when I am done," he says.  Amused I tell him sure as long as he brings it back again. As I thought, he used the part of my driveway that wraps to the side of the house to fix his fence on.
That day I came home and my grass had been mowed again! I made them a cherry cheese pie.
Yet, I was peeved when I came home yesterday to find a car parked in that spot.  His yard was also full of cars and I did not feel like confrontation at the moment so I went inside and said nothing.  The garbage had been taken to the side of the road for me.  That morning after the garbage man came, it had been taken back to the side again.  But still, I was not asked if someone could park there! I pay too much money to share my little place of space in this world without being asked. 
When I came home from my day's splurge of hair salon and bookstore, the car was gone.  So I parked there, when I never have before.  Actions speak louder than words, but I wonder if I'll ever get my lawn mowed again.  We'll talk about how much money I waste at another time.


white mug

christmas nite

Posted on Mon,Dec.25th,2006 at 22:29
I feel mostly: artisticmyself
What do I hear?: U2 Peace on Earth
here in the world do i begin...

i have had a harsh and also a joyous christmas "weak" with my children. so much has happened with my son...he seems to all at once have lost a bowl full of his innocence in one weekend.  long story too drained to really write...i typed it all out in here, on my journal and then deleted it. if anything i have more understanding for mother on how it feels to have no power over the fate of one's children -  they are not ours - we do not own them.

i have been over at grandma's visiting the past couple days. j~ is there. i try to talk to him and pull him into the realm of conversation.  the only result is a mocking cold shoulder, like i am not good enough to talk to or like he is just annoyed by me.  grandpa said to me that he felt the same way...sometimes it is hard to remember that it is not j~ rejecting and hating on us (essentially) but it is just part of how he can't function.  sadly, his not attending his courses resulted in all 0's and he wont be able to go to college now if he ever got well enough to try again. all i could do was talk all goofy to him as a child nearly , trying to toy around and josh with him like it was not hurting my feelings and then knuckling him when he ignored me and calling him rude.  i dunno but i made him smile and chuckle at least twice.

my uncle in a wheel chair has  a missing leg now and his wife my aunt is obese and tired and worn looking.  grandparents are dissolving.  momma does not feel at all like a well or an island of relief or even as wise as my steady 8 year old daughter, who has more ability to soothe with her childlike compassion than my mom and her bitter barbs ever could...so i am trying to keep keep the wheel of time in perspective...enjoying every now that i find myself in...incoherent here

bought some hard lemonade and drank all six for about 3 hours while talking to online friends & smoked a half a pack of cigarettes.

yah i am missing tom this now b/c usually i would be on my way to toronto tomorrow. but i remember the song he dedicated to me, then, that when we were togehter in life he would not dance me to it and i knew in that moment we were not going to make it. (he was drunk & angry that I disagreed with his idea about human equality< he thought some were above others) the irony is that the very thing he loved most so he said in me was what he could not stand b/c he had none of it in himself ~ compassion.  right now, more than anything, i want to be in this woman's arms ~ GRACE ~ to comfort me... GRACE, where are you tonight?

U2 - Grace Lyrics



Grace

She takes the blame

She covers the shame

Removes the stain

It could be her name



Grace

It's a name for a girl

It's also a thought that

Changed the world



And when she walks on the street

You can hear the strings

Grace finds goodness

In everything



Grace

She's got the walk

Not on a wrapper on chalk

She's got the time to talk



She travels outside

Of karma, karma

She travels outside

Of karma



When she goes to work

You can hear the strings

Grace finds beauty

In everything



Grace

She carries a world on her hips

No champagne flute for her lips

No twirls or skips

Between her fingertips



She carries a pearl

In perfect condition

What once was hers


What once was friction

What left a mark

No longer stains



Because grace makes beauty

Out of ugly things



Grace finds beauty

In everything



Grace finds goodness

In everything


white mug

Sorrows

Posted on Sat,Dec.16th,2006 at 00:57
What do I hear?: Silent Night ~ Sarah McLachlan
Grandpa and Daniel had to pick up J~ from jail today.  When they went to go get him for the Christmas holidays and bring him home from College, that is where he was.  He had been there for three days!!  How can I not blame mom for not even knowing?  He apparently never went to the office to sign for his student loan and so it never went through to pay for his dorm.  When they asked him to move out he would not leave and so they had him arrested and pressed about 3 different charges against him that were all dropped once daniel explained that j~ is schizophrenic.
So he is home.

Previous 7  Next 7